July 4th, 2012
On his second day in office, as part of his reasoned approach to immigration, W. Mitt Romney will have the Statue of Liberty disassembled and shipped back to France. Said Willard, “It’s like a damn billboard… Give me your tired, your poor, wretched refuse, the homeless, I lift my lamp beside the golden door? It’s time we had the good sense to turn off the lamp and lock the golden door.” In it’s place, Willard plans to erect a huge statue of an old man sitting on a tree stump with a shotgun lying across his lap, next to a “No Trespassing” sign. Visiting tourists will be able to go up inside the statue and look out of the barrel of the shotgun, which will point towards Brooklyn.