1. Prologue: Nescience – a special word.
2. Intro – and warning that language may be unsuitable for children and not for
3. President William J. Clinton admits he was wrong
4. Comedian – Lewis Black on Education in Arkansas, from his "The White Album".
5. "Asshole" by Jim’s Big Ego, from their CD "They’re Everywhere"
6. Comedian – Lewis Black on the Heaven’s Gate people, from his "The White
7. A portion of Green Day’s single "American Idiot"
8. Comedian – Lewis Black on the idiocy of TV, from his "The White Album".
9. "Idiot" by The Sin Circle from their CD "Everyone’s An Idiot".
10. George Dubya on Education.
11. "Black And White" by T.W. Henderson from his CD "The Wilderness Years"
This is a re-issue of my version of the story originally told by my daughter Billie in Digital Flotsam #36, and it is a much more terrifying story when told from a parent’s perspective.
I had a little fun with the retelling by deciding to use the exact same music and sound effects that were used in Billie’s original telling of the story. And so…
A special thank you to Brian Noe (of The Frank Truth) for adding a couple of Pythonesque asides.
I used music by the late Hank Marr, Larry Seyer, Enter The Haggis, and Incidental Fusion. And, of course, my wonderful theme music by 3 Blind Mice, based on a song from their CD “Good Grief”. (Go buy all their CDs, they are every bit as wonderful.)
Erratum: Near the end of this episode I refer to Billie as an “11 year old” when I know very well she was a 13 year old at the time of this event. (It wasn’t worth trying to do over).
1. “Washington Post March” by John Philip Sousa, played by the Band of the Grenadier Guards & Rodney Bashford
2. Opening pronouncements
3. “The One Pound Rocket” by P.W. Fenton segment #1, backgound music – “Family” by Rob Costlow
5. “The One Pound Rocket” segment #2 and #3, backgound music – “What! Not Another Greasy Spoon” by Hank Marr
6. “Brooklyn Bridge” by The Jersey Surf Drum and Bugle Corps & The Jackie Robinson Steppers
7. “The One Pound Rocket” segment #4, backgound music – “Sweet Nancy” by Hank Marr
8. “1812 Overture – Finale” by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
9. “The One Pound Rocket” segment #5, backgound music – ““Sweet Nancy” by Hank Marr
10. “The Star Spangled Banner” arranged by Igor Stravinsky
11. Closing pronouncements
As always many thanks to 3 Blind Mice for providing my theme music
July 4th, 2012
On his second day in office, as part of his reasoned approach to immigration, W. Mitt Romney will have the Statue of Liberty disassembled and shipped back to France. Said Willard, “It’s like a damn billboard… Give me your tired, your poor, wretched refuse, the homeless, I lift my lamp beside the golden door? It’s time we had the good sense to turn off the lamp and lock the golden door.” In it’s place, Willard plans to erect a huge statue of an old man sitting on a tree stump with a shotgun lying across his lap, next to a “No Trespassing” sign. Visiting tourists will be able to go up inside the statue and look out of the barrel of the shotgun, which will point towards Brooklyn.
March 19th, 2012
A service was held today in honor of my good friend Ross Greco. I loved him dearly. His wife Melody asked me to say a few words about him at today’s service…
“When Melody asked me to say a few words about my buddy Ross here today, I knew that I had to do it. I had no idea how to do it. I just knew that I couldn’t chicken out. That would be selfish. That would be thinking about me. Today is all about Ross. Today is about giving Ross the all love and respect he has earned in this world. And my friend Ross would never have chickened out. Ross would never shrink from his responsibility. Ross wasn’t that kind of guy.
I have often said, when trying to describe Ross to someone who didn’t know him, that if I was an employer, I would want to fill my whole organization with people just like him.
In all the years I’ve known him, and for most of those we worked together, I never once saw him fail to help anyone he encountered that needed help. It just wasn’t in him. If he COULD help you he would, and if he couldn’t help you he would FIND someone who could. He was tireless, never looking for the EASY way, just the right way.
But there was another side to Ross that we all treasure equally. He was wonderfully funny. I remember watching him tell the same TRUE story about himself… FIVE times to different groups of people… each time laughing so hard I was brought to tears. Anybody here that knew Ross will understand when I say that one day not too long ago, when my garage door jammed half way open, I started to laugh. Not because there was anything funny about having a broken garage door, but because it instantly brought to mind one of his funniest stories.
Nobody could want a better son… nobody could want a better brother… nobody could want a better husband… nobody could want a better father… and none of us could want a better friend. Ross had a favorite little thing he liked to say to people. When he said it, he would act like it was a joke… but it really wasn’t. He would say “I want you to know that I’m here for you… and when I’m not here for you… I’m there for you.”
I’ve really only known one person like Ross in my whole life, and that was my dad… who coincidently, passed away in the middle of March just 5 years ago. When he did, I said something about his place in this world, that also applies to my good friend Ross… On the day Ross died… March 12th, 2012… the status of everyone on Earth went up a notch… because suddenly there was more room at the top.”
When I was looking for a picture to use for this episode of Digital Flotsam. I had a picture of my daughter Billie in mind that I guessed was taken around the time described in this show. I searched dozens of CDs filled with old pictures but I couldn’t find it. I eventually ran across the one above on my hard drive. It wasn’t the picture I was looking for, but it appeared to be from the right time period. When I loaded it into Photoshop, I gasped. If you look closely… in this picture… her hands… especially her left… are covered with ant bites. [insert Twilight Zone theme music]
Loads of folks to thank for this episode… first and foremost, Billie, known throughout her life at home as “best pal”. She is the one I refer to as my “Anglo” daughter. She wrote a great story, which will no doubt inspire me to one day talk about the same incident from a parent’s perspective. It was quite an experience to be at work and get a phone call announcing that your daughter was just taken away unconscious in an ambulance.
A special thank you to Brian Noe (of The Frank Truth) for adding a couple of Pythonesque asides. Thanks to Larry Josephson, long time producer of Bob & Ray, and bobandray.com for allowing me access to their enormous library of fun.
I used music by the late Hank Marr, Larry Seyer, Enter The Haggis, and Incidental Fusion. I also played the world podcast premiere of “The Word” by 3 Blind Mice, upon which the Digital Flotsam theme music is based, which is a wonderful song from their as yet unreleased CD. But go buy their first two CDs, they are every bit as wonderful.
This episode has been re-issued, without commercials, for your listening pleasure… DF40.mp3
This whole episode of Digital Flotsam is entirely TRUE. The picture you see above was taken of me at the very time this episode takes place. In fact…. the door you see behind me (yes that’s me) belongs to our friend Peter, mentioned in the show.
There was some great music in this episode.
“Digital Flotsam Theme” by 3 Blind Mice
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